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Date: 12/03/25 - Time: 9:51 PM
Hello,
My name is Mitchell. I'm insane. I have BPD. I do not have the money to get therapy. However, I am going to get better. This is my journal.
This is the journal of a crazy person. I hope you enjoy it. I don't plan to go out like Daul Kim, I want to live a good long life, however, I cannot promise that everything I do or document will be morally upstanding. So please be patient with me. I am going to get better. This is the story of me getting better. If you find this I hope it's entertaining.
Also I'm sorry about the look of this website right now. I'm garbage at coding, but my dad is an engineer so maybe I'll get some (epi?)genetic skills soon or hopefully some ancestral blood memory.
Wish me luck! Bye
Date: 14/03/25 - Time 7:59 PM
Do you ever want to obliterate yourself. Just vanish into nothingness. Gosh how I want to disappear. I want to become some strange translucent mist and stop existing, stop thinking, stop having to move or act or be. I want to stop the obligations, the responsibilites, the extent of my life. And yet, I know that those things are what make life good. I know that once I let go of those obligations, I'm letting go of the ways that I'm connected to the world. I'm reminded of Holden Caufield who wanted to go into a cabbin in the woods (and to an extent J.D Salinger). Is it childish to want to remove yourself from reality, to escape into fantasy or a void, probably. But I can't bring myself to kill the impulse or to fully get rid of it. Maybe I'm spoiled or maybe just too sensitive. I don't know. Hopefully it disappears. Will I be happy again, yes. Am I happy now, no.
Long live the future. I hope it comes soon. Bye!